You're Poison, You Are

This is going to ruin us.

This is going to tear us apart. Our limbs strewn across the checkered tile floor and our heads shaved.

I'll carve "I love you" into your arms.
And you'll carve "I loved you too" into mine.
Past Tense hurts more than the razor.

I want to warn you that this is the beginning of the end. I want to fix this.  But things I try to fix end up shattered, and I never meant to break your heart.

So you keep drinking and I'll keep getting high.

I'll keep pretending I can't see you pulling away. I'll keep saying that I love you, and I do.
But I wish you knew that every time I say it I'm waiting for you to say it back. And that's rare.

I've been shaking all day.
Because for a while I thought I had lost you. For a while I thought you wouldn't forgive me for this and I'd be too stubborn to say that I'm sorry. 
It's this little game God and I have been playing for a while now.
 
Keep Going.
And people will keep thinking I only speak in metaphors.

"Why are you mad?"

"I don't know...I'm not mad."

"You're something."

"It scares me."

"It still scares me too."

TROUBLE IN CANDYLAND

esther